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Friday, November 30, 2012

From Start to Finish - No Regrets.

I was lucky enough to meet up with a past flame for lunch this week.  He was in town on business and somehow it all worked out.  He was waiting for me outside my office and when our eyes met we couldn't help but smile.  Later that afternoon I received a text from him that also made me smile.  

It is difficult sometimes to do the right thing when emotions are involved.  And when he and I were forced to end our plans for a future together we were tested.  Fear, jealousy and hurt were our constant companion.  It wasn't easy.  But we supported each other and together we closed the door on our future.

So why am I sharing all of this?  Because it is about regret.  I don't have any, and neither does he. I have a friend who is going through a break up. It is bitter to say the least.  But one can see why - they have failed to treat each other with the respect and dignity that each deserves.  From the outside looking in - its not pretty.  They are filled with regret about the past, and I don't doubt one day they will look back and regret all this too.  How sad and awful.  Endings happen.  That is life. Sometimes being nice is a challenge.  But often that is when it is most important.  

In the end it was great to see him.  He was happy, looked great - I still adore his sense of humour.  And yes I know, some people have no interest in lunching with an ex.  I get that.  But when you walk away you have to decide how you want to be remembered.  For the good stuff that existed - or for the horrible way you handled a break up. 

I like how we remember the time there was an us.  From start to finish - no regrets.

Canadian Alanis and Guardian

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Getting it Right

Yesterday was kind of a big day for me.  Something that I had been working towards came to a pivotal point.  Whether it went one way – or another was to be seen.  As chance, fate and luck would have it – it went the way I wanted.

However, the busy month had taken its toll.  I was a unique combination of exhausted and hyper.  I wanted to do something that evening but I wasn’t really sure what.   

One of the best things about moving to Zurich is the people that I have met.  My BFF Zurich friend knows every teeny tiny detail about my life – and I his.  I met him pretty much the day arrived here and he quickly became my anchor.  Someone I could count on through the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Lucky me.

Just over two months ago I met someone else who has also become quite special to me.  As I paced the floor somewhat agitated they arrived with a bottle of wine that kicked the butt off of anything I had in house. He ordered me to sit, sip my wine and tell him about what was going on in my world.  So I did.

“Dawn, I am proud of you,” he said.

Truth was, I was kinda proud of me too.  It isn’t easy moving around and making your way in a foreign place.  So as cheesy as those words were, they were also exactly what I needed to hear.  The agitation disappeared and I let the words warm me a little.

My phone buzzed with some texts from my son, Zurich BFF and others.  I sipped my wine, smiled at my friend and read my texts.  What a day…

In life we get to choose the company we keep – and that is about it.  I have been alone, and I have been lonely.  I have made decisions for the right reasons and the wrong.  I have made mistakes – sometimes the same ones repeatedly.  I have spent time with people who didn’t deserve it and neglected those who did.  But it was in this moment that I realized - I had gotten it right.