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Thursday, November 30, 2017

My choice

Happiness.  We read blogs about how to achieve it.  Shelves are lined with endless books on the steps to reaching such a state. Conversations are riddled with questions about ones state of mind. Essentially it is what each and every person desires.

This was something that I have not struggled with personally.  I looked at the fact that it was a choice, and mine was clear.  Then life got busy.  I found myself in the company of people who struggled with stress and unhappiness.  Although also feeling the stresses of life, I tried to look at the good stuff and focus on that.  Then something happened; I began to feel guilty about feeling good when my companions were feeling to low.  I started to share my unhappy feelings too.  It made me feel like we were bonding better.  Time went on and I continued.  Then came a day when I found myself literally feeling unhappy all of the time.  I was arguing with those closest to me over the most foolish of things. 

Basically I had transformed into a person that I was not even fond of - not a nice realization let me tell you.  I realized, being unhappy had become my new habit.  My happy friends had been replaced by my stressed and dissatisfied circle.

So yeah starting today I am done with endless time talking about how stressed we all are, or how horrible things may or may not be... I am done with the inward focus. 

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