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Monday, November 18, 2013

An Insomnia Inspired Ramble

Sleepless tonight.  I find myself dwelling on a comment that a friend said earlier.  We were discussing my rather eventful past week.  A lot of unexpected drama was flung my way, so much that I still find myself feeling a little bit numb from it all still.   

Then my friend said the mother of all comments that haunts me this sleepless night.

In this life we seem to get caught up on things.  Always looking for the next big thing.  We get bored.  Our need for constant stimulation transcends into so many things in our daily life.  Our constant checking of our smartphones, busy calendars crammed full until we achieve utter exhaustion, our need to buy the next latest and greatest thing, a new job and so on.  Sometimes people create drama just to make life a bit more exciting.  However, when it gets particularly sad is when it enters into our personal life.  The avoidance of intimacy, commitment and juggling of multiple relationships because we cannot be still, or we get bored or are afraid that something better will soon come along.  

I think we have all been that way at one point or another. Me included.  It is easier sometimes to live in this way because it lacks depth and provides a protective cloak for our vulnerability.  But the truth is I am bored with constant stimulation.  I want to enjoy a quiet mind and soak in the moment.  Be it alone or with someone.  So it was surprising tonight to hear someone suggest that it was probably a good thing that I had this drama in my life otherwise I would get bored.  Funny, but also a bit disappointing that my friend would think this of me.  

As I lay awake in bed a text came in from Canada (yes, I know, but I am not perfect.).  It said "I just heard this song and knew instantly that you would love it."  What is particularly cool is that it is indeed my favourite song of the moment.  When I asked how they knew this the reply was "because I love you."

Yeah.  It was a pretty awesome moment that was worth losing a night of sleep.  It is nice to known.  To be understood.  Thought of by someone who knows you so well.  This does not happen when life is going at a seriously rapid pace, or when we find ourselves unable to enjoy a moment or are already thinking about the next one.  Is that boring?  Perhaps. But I kind of like the balance 'boring' brings to my life.  Drama happens of course and there is sometimes little you can do to avoid it.   Laughter, a hug, an 'I love you', that is something special and worth scaling back on the other stimuli and distractions.  

There, I think I can sleep now...

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