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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

A Playlist for a Grey Day

Sometimes a song is more than a song.  As I made my way through the day, I let myself slip into a mood that was as grey and bleary as the sky overhead.  I put in my headphones and listened to a favourite playlist from years gone by when a certain song came on.

This particular song helped me through the loss of someone important to me.  When he left this world for another I found myself struggling with coping.   During the day I was busy running my business, being a mom, friend, daughter - basically trying to show everyone I was okay.  At night when I was alone, the curtain dropped.  Somehow I found my comfort in the garage of my home, sitting in my convertible with the top down and this song blasting.  I would sing along with such vigour, I am sure my neighbours were also sleepless these long nights.  But in that particular moment in time that particular song helped.

Then there was the decision of whether or not to move to Europe.  Indecisive I spent a great deal of time making excuses and flying back and forth.  In many ways I think I was waiting for a sign.  Or someone to tell me not to do something.  Sadly, I have to admit, it is sometimes a bit tough being the single, independent female.  I really did not want to make that decision all by myself.  

So as I wrestled with the decision and continued with the transatlantic lifestyle, I found myself many a time on a plane.  As the jets roared to prepare for takeoff this song would pop in my mind.   I was halfway to gone to a new life and I was feeling so not ready...

I also listened once again to a song a good friend sent me recently.   In the end I did not solve the problem that was on my mind today, but an old playlist reminded me that sometimes things simply are the way they are.  Sometimes you just have to breathe - one deep breath after another.  And that change happens whether you are ready or not.  And the song from my friend reminded me that no matter what I am never alone - if I don't wish to be.

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